Separation...the process

As I sit here typing at the desk on a fantastic morning I hear the birds out the window and feel a little bit of a breeze gently roll in periodically. It is a quiet Saturday morning and though this neighborhood is generally really quiet for the city- today it is exceptionally peaceful.   I feel like we have come so far in such a short time...it was only 58 days ago that we actually decided we were going to take the plunge and relocate.

Since that day we have pulled everything we had out of storage, sold most of what we own, and cleaned, organized and painted our entire house.  This week the house went on the market and next week we get rid of the minivan and pick up our Subaru Outback.  Our daughter has a baby in a little over 2 weeks and then after our week or so of welcoming her into the world we are free to go...well, once the house sells.

all clean and ready to sell...

In this process that normally would have taken 6 months we have been running full steam most days, because of this we had a slight mishap- my husband fell down the basement steps and smashed his face into the concrete floor.  Thank God there were no broken or dislocated parts of him but he did have a glorious shiner and had to get stitches above his eye.  He has stopped for some well needed rest.

thank God - it could have been worse!

So today I thought I would update you who do read this on how we are looking at what to do from here. This has been such a therapeutic process of purging our belongings and trimming down.  We have felt more freedom with each yard sale and each item that has gone out the door...it is amazing the stuff you can accumulate and the attachments you think you have that really are all in your head.

We have researched online and found a church out there with a great feel to it that seems like it may be a good fit for us.  We won't know for sure until we are there and attend for a bit but this is a place to start.  I contacted the church and asked if there was anyone in the congregation who may be interested in giving us input into Albuquerque for our move, a realtor who attends was glad to connect with us.  Holly has been terrific at answering questions and being a voice for clarity on good and bad areas to consider rental or purchase options.

I had looked up apartments and short term rentals but things can look fantastic on the internet but be not so great in real life, as it was with the list of apartment complexes I had thought looked good and asked Holly's opinion- she ruled out all but one.  She was great with the reasons for each- poor neighborhood, too much travel involved if we work across the city, not quite the best locations for whatever reasons...so this was terrific to hear from someone who is actually there.

We have decided we are going to actually rent a U Haul truck and drive that while we tow our car.  After researching the options of shipping our stuff, getting rid of so much we drive a long van out and get a car when there, driving a pull along trailer, our final choice ended up being the best for us.  We are planning on taking 3-4 days to get out there so we can enjoy the trip...and deal with the emotions that I am sure are going to hit when we start feeling the separation...

Hence the title of this entry.  The separation process.  It has already begun on many levels.  The downsizing of our possessions has been a prompt to feel some very real emotions.  I had to ask my daughters to come over to help me go through that last corner of the basement and the last bins of items labeled 'memories' because I just couldn't go through another one myself.  I had so many boxes of pictures, so many of the children's art pieces or papers from school years, so many old baby clothes from when they were born...letting go of much of this was strange, yet satisfying.

See when I was young we moved a lot, when we moved several times we left behind most of what we had accumulated; furniture, toys, household items etc. and just started fresh in a new place.  Because of this I realize I didn't know what to hold on to because I was afraid I would forget if I let go of too much.  I remember the feeling of not feeling like I had a place to officially call home as a child myself so I wanted to make sure I saved whatever I needed to to make my kids feel like I made 'home' for them.

I think I over did it.  I saved everything! As I watched my kids look at things, say things like "awe that's neat, I remember that" then just toss stuff in the trash or the donate box I was shocked.  I realize they felt 'home' was with us...this was beautiful to realize.  They enjoyed talking over memories and they were happy with our move and they were well balanced healthy minded individuals.  We had created our home.

Now the thought of separating from our kids and this place, it's not so bad.  I think of how terrific it is going to be when we visit each other.  I think of how today's technology is going to provide the opportunity for me to see my grandchildren grow even though we are over 1800 miles apart.  I think of how much they will be making sure they spend time with each other and form their own families and 'homes'.

I know as I said earlier that there will be some feelings I will have to face as we leave and travel through each state.  I know as we find ourselves getting close to birthdays or holidays I will be thinking about where my kids are, what everyone is doing, and how I miss them.  But I will just get back to the old fashioned letter writing of old and find that as well as today's technological methods to keep up and let them know I miss them and I love them.  I already stocked my granddaughter with postage and cards and information on how to mail letters so she and I can be 'pen pals' - This is going to be great!

We will wait for the house to sell but in the mean time enjoy every moment here with them until the day comes to leave, then we will separate- but only in driving distance, not in our hearts.

everyone hanging in our living room...love my family!