Fault Finding

The blame game.  We all can get quite good at that one.  It is an ancient characteristic ingrained in humanity to look for someone to blame other than ourselves.  It has happened in monumental situations that have changed the course of history, and it happens in everyday life as young as those toddler years when we use shifting blame to get out of punishment or responsibility.

I know this quote is from Dave Ramsey; a financial advisor, but it can easily be a quote used to coach someone in most other areas of life as well.

Do we like to search for where we went wrong, for the root cause of a season of struggle we have been in for way too long?  Isn't it easier to just complain about the difficulty and focus on the pain or mess we are in rather than actually do what this quote is saying? How often we like to think we get to the source of our fault in a manner where we deceive ourselves into thinking the fault we have actually stems from another person's action towards us.  We can entirely miss actual reality and create our own version of the story we are living out.  We can run along thinking we are so productive, and so together, yet we could miss the actual point that would change our course and put us in a position to in fact become truly productive and definitely more put together.

Today I write these words wondering where am I at financially, relationally, emotionally and intellectually.   Have I followed a pattern in any of these areas of life that if I take a moment to look over time; I can see some unhealthy choices or mistaken steps that have been my fault and how these actions have created a pattern in my life?

Financially - Can I see spending or saving patterns that I could possibly change?  Do I see an inner view of finances that has actually stunted me from growing in financial security?  Am I taking responsibility for my actions, or lack of action, that may be creating a stagnant financial situation in my life?

Relationally - Are there people in my history that were not the best fit for my life yet I chose to connect or interweave our lives together?  If I look over time can I see a pattern of this type of person repeat itself in my friendships?  In my partnerships?  I my employment choices?

Emotionally - Can I look over my life and see how I have handled events emotionally; have I developed and grown, or have I deteriorated and flailed in the midst of life's bumps and turns?  Who do I turn to for emotional support?  To whom do I give emotional support?  Where do I seek emotional instruction and development?

Intellectually - Do I see the pattern of growth in my intellect over my life?  Have a continued to seek knowledge and understanding as I have grown? Or did I quit a long time ago and wallow in unintelligent circles where there was no challenge to my thoughts or skills?  Do I understand my worth and see my value to others around me and this world in general?


When we were children we were taught to look for patterns in early elementary school. They say understanding how to look for patterns helps a child find a sense of order in everyday life.  Have you continued to look for patterns as you have grown up, or have you become dull and unaware of patterns right before your eyes?  I encourage you to look for current patterns, but as I mentioned earlier, look for those past patterns that may be able to give you insight as to where you may have misdirected your travels.  Be brave and willing to alter your course.

Know that as we see where we have continued in the wrong direction there is still hope to find our way- all we have to do is redirect our steps as we recognize the need to do so.  If your life were a giant maze and you realized going down a certain hall over and over you only hit a wall, then you would chose a different hall to see if you could find the path that led you out to freedom.

Now if you had no idea you were in this maze you may just repeatedly go down that same hall because it was familiar and you felt safe doing so, but you would never get out of the maze and achieve the final freedom.  Today you are aware of the need to reevaluate and steer the course of your life with responsibility. You are aware of the maze.  Embrace this moment to actually gain footing and choose your path.

May these words find you encouraged, and challenged today and in the life-filled days ahead.

BettyK

How do you know if it's your time for a big move?

I was sitting here thinking about our 3 year anniversary coming up.  Three years ago we relocated in a big way.  This was all part of a process I have written about in previous posts.

Today I was just thinking about a list of questions that would have probably helped me either jump start our move better, or aid in defining our goals sooner rather than later from our haphazard steps we took at times.

I thought, just for fun, I would love to prompt you into thinking by posting these questions.  I hope they help you if you actually have some prompting inching it's way into your conscious thought. If you want to define those impressions and identify what's happening in your journey maybe this can help with that as well.


1.How can you know when you need to make a big move?
Are there circumstances that seem to be closing in around you and creating a need for change, in work, housing, social contacts or even physical climate?


2.What are the signs that you may be needing a change?
Do you find yourself restless, irritated, listlessly thinking of other places or lifestyles?


3.If I could be anywhere else, where would I really like to be, and why?
Do you think this way?  Have you ever read about or visited some place and longed to be there instead of your current home?  Have you found any of those quizzes on the internet to find your ideal location and actually took them? Repeatedly?

4.Have you become stagnant where you are, not seeing any opportunity for growth or change in your personal, professional, educational or social life?

5.Do you feel like your recent season of life has been wearing on you rather than invigorating you and it may be time to take on a challenge and seek adventure?

6. If you were able to start over with coworkers, neighbors, friends and acquaintances; what could you look for in people and how could you better present or define your best self?

When we decided to make this big move we had various events prompt us into knowing it was the right time.

• My husband had been laid off and gone through 6 months of no work possibilities.  
• Our children were all out of our home at once finally and we were actually in a good place to separate ourselves from them a little and give them a chance to blossom.  
• We felt there was some purpose and intention for us as well as those we would meet in starting in a new community and new place to live work and worship.
• It was an excellent market time to sell our house.  We made a nice profit off the swift sale.
• We came to see the connection between the humidity and barometric pressure of our home town location was definitely the culprit for my many migraines and health issues at that time.  
• We had a nice chunk in our retirement and after the house sale that would be perfect to use for relocation.
• Almost suddenly we became keenly aware of our interest and actual longing for the southwest that had been growing over years, this was it, we knew we were intended to head west!

Well, there you have it.  Some of the squirming you may feel when you read these thoughts may be because you would never feel like this relocation adventure would ever be for you & yours....or is it?

Here's to getting uncomfortable, evaluating the current, and stepping into the possibilities ahead.

Enjoy your thought process, and share if you want- I would love to hear some feedback or questions.

Sleep well my friends,
BettyK