tonight...

He breathes deeply as his body relaxes,
he is exhausted of all momentum that propelled him through this day.
He snores, a sign of full surrender, he is at rest, as I.
This day has seen both stillness and fluster-
I will allow the thick darkness of the night air to tuck me in on all sides,
as I used to swaddle our children.
We have come to rest here
in this moment of temporary completion,
of succession,
of contentment - tonight.

BettyK
October 1, 2007

Please be careful out there

This is a re-post of an entry I made in 2011.  I am posting it to remind people that we still need to be aware of our surroundings!  As we have moved to Albuquerque we see so many more transient people and we have been exposed to so many more situations, it is just a good reminder to be aware of current criminal behavior and crime patterns to watch out for in your area.  When there are multiple crimes with similar details you can prepare yourself to be increasingly cautious concerning those settings or types of individuals.  There is no need to walk in complete fear, yet there is wisdom in knowing what to watch out for and action you can take to remain safe.  I hope this story of what happened to me helps you be aware of details and safer in your daily routine.

BettyK


I had a strange occurrence at the grocery store yesterday.
I was by myself and a little in a rush so sort of distracted when a man approached me and asked if I would buy him some food.  He looked a little lean and rough so I thought he was just down on his luck as they say & needed a little help.  I asked him what he was looking for and he told me some items like beans etc. and I just said why don't I just give him some cash to get what he needs & I just gave him a $10.  He seemed bothered by that, but I took it as he was embarrassed to take just money.  He tried to talk to me a bit, asking what I do and some other questions, but I tried to go on my way and told him have a really nice day & moved myself along.

Before I knew it he was in front of me again, asking if I would just take him through the line with him and buy him stuff- I said I was in a hurry & really needed to go, he got a little agitated again & said "I really want you to just go through the line with me and buy my stuff" then I more firmly said I need to go & this wasn't an option.

I thought I was clear & this was a little strange but wasn't registering to me. Then I get up to the checkout line and as I turn to get my last item he is right there, with others behind him so I think he had cut in to get right next to me and he is close enough so it looks like we are together & he starts talking to me of young women being abducted and tortured and many other statements I won't write - then starts telling me something of what he thinks of a woman who would be captured and raped & tortured for days & I am looking to the checkout guy- a very young guy- and I am pleading with him with my eyes for help.

I acted like I needed to talk to the checkout guy but quickly mention to this man that people who do things like that need Jesus & he sort of takes off & leaves but makes sure he leaves by coming up behind me an 'squeezing' behind my body to get out of the isle.

As he walks away I ask the store clerk for help & he gets a bigger store clerk with a little more age on him to walk me to my car. I tell him some of what this man was saying so he calls the police- he asks me if I see him and there he was- at the other store exit getting on a 10 speed bike looking over then riding out of the parking lot over to the Taco Bell.  I felt so sick inside- I got in my car, locked my doors & got home.

As I related to my husband what happened I really started to shake & cry, I realized some of the things this guy did- he was trolling for a target.

He had a bottle of mustard in his hand when he approached me and appeared like he was looking for something to purchase in the store so he wouldn't stand out- but when he approached me there were others in my area, 2 couples, and 2 individual men- yet he approached me and when he did he seemed to try to draw me to the side by his manner of talking & movements, placing the mustard on the shelf out of place from another isle, I think he was carrying this because it was small and easy to put away- I wasn't thinking then so I didn't notice this detail.

He was trying to get me to come through the line with him and buy his food because he wanted to follow me out to my car- this took him asking 3 times to do this before I realized why he may want to yet then I still didn't comprehend why he may want to do this.

When he was talking to me as he cornered me at the checkout he seemed like he was really loosing his opportunity with me so he got blatent with his thoughts and said the most uncomfortable & scary things- and seemed like he was trying to find a way to still get me to go out to my car & he get a chance to follow me...I realize as I think through his actions & words I was looking a very dangerous person in the eyes.  I want to caution all of you but also wanted to get a description of him on here in case any of you encounter such a guy.  As I said the store clerk was calling the police but as he was this guy was riding off on a bike and by time they go t there I am sure could have been long gone.

This was at Giant Market on Columbia ave.  He has brownish hair with a slight dark red tint to it- he had rough sort of burly hair & it was a little to his shoulders, he had a beard and green eyes I believe. He was on the lean side but still strong enough looking, about early to mid 30's I think in age, was hard to tell that. He was wearing a med blue pair pf shorts that were it seems inside out. I think he was also wearing a hat of some sort. He also had a med blue sweatshirt on & was a little dirty looking.

SO I hate to post this but at the same time- I really cannot write how this shook me, I don't want to be dramatic but I feel like I was stalked by a person who intends to or may have already done serious harm.  I am contacting the store today to see how things went with the police and then contacting the police to be sure they have the description of the guy and my statement.

Please be cautious when shopping, lock your car, watch who is around you, try not to go alone esp. towards evening- this was just around 5:30 for me.

Be aware, be peaceful and stay safe!

BettyK

Fault Finding

The blame game.  We all can get quite good at that one.  It is an ancient characteristic ingrained in humanity to look for someone to blame other than ourselves.  It has happened in monumental situations that have changed the course of history, and it happens in everyday life as young as those toddler years when we use shifting blame to get out of punishment or responsibility.

I know this quote is from Dave Ramsey; a financial advisor, but it can easily be a quote used to coach someone in most other areas of life as well.

Do we like to search for where we went wrong, for the root cause of a season of struggle we have been in for way too long?  Isn't it easier to just complain about the difficulty and focus on the pain or mess we are in rather than actually do what this quote is saying? How often we like to think we get to the source of our fault in a manner where we deceive ourselves into thinking the fault we have actually stems from another person's action towards us.  We can entirely miss actual reality and create our own version of the story we are living out.  We can run along thinking we are so productive, and so together, yet we could miss the actual point that would change our course and put us in a position to in fact become truly productive and definitely more put together.

Today I write these words wondering where am I at financially, relationally, emotionally and intellectually.   Have I followed a pattern in any of these areas of life that if I take a moment to look over time; I can see some unhealthy choices or mistaken steps that have been my fault and how these actions have created a pattern in my life?

Financially - Can I see spending or saving patterns that I could possibly change?  Do I see an inner view of finances that has actually stunted me from growing in financial security?  Am I taking responsibility for my actions, or lack of action, that may be creating a stagnant financial situation in my life?

Relationally - Are there people in my history that were not the best fit for my life yet I chose to connect or interweave our lives together?  If I look over time can I see a pattern of this type of person repeat itself in my friendships?  In my partnerships?  I my employment choices?

Emotionally - Can I look over my life and see how I have handled events emotionally; have I developed and grown, or have I deteriorated and flailed in the midst of life's bumps and turns?  Who do I turn to for emotional support?  To whom do I give emotional support?  Where do I seek emotional instruction and development?

Intellectually - Do I see the pattern of growth in my intellect over my life?  Have a continued to seek knowledge and understanding as I have grown? Or did I quit a long time ago and wallow in unintelligent circles where there was no challenge to my thoughts or skills?  Do I understand my worth and see my value to others around me and this world in general?


When we were children we were taught to look for patterns in early elementary school. They say understanding how to look for patterns helps a child find a sense of order in everyday life.  Have you continued to look for patterns as you have grown up, or have you become dull and unaware of patterns right before your eyes?  I encourage you to look for current patterns, but as I mentioned earlier, look for those past patterns that may be able to give you insight as to where you may have misdirected your travels.  Be brave and willing to alter your course.

Know that as we see where we have continued in the wrong direction there is still hope to find our way- all we have to do is redirect our steps as we recognize the need to do so.  If your life were a giant maze and you realized going down a certain hall over and over you only hit a wall, then you would chose a different hall to see if you could find the path that led you out to freedom.

Now if you had no idea you were in this maze you may just repeatedly go down that same hall because it was familiar and you felt safe doing so, but you would never get out of the maze and achieve the final freedom.  Today you are aware of the need to reevaluate and steer the course of your life with responsibility. You are aware of the maze.  Embrace this moment to actually gain footing and choose your path.

May these words find you encouraged, and challenged today and in the life-filled days ahead.

BettyK

The Girl in the Shadows

I thought I'd paste a bit of a story I started about 11-12 years ago.  I feel like I have the rough draft set but need to polish it up in order to fully release it.  I'd love to have feedback from this intro.  Does it make you want to read more?  Let me know!
thanks
BettyK


The Girl in the Shadows by BettyK

           There was a shadow of a girl standing in the bushes as we drove by, I turned and looked again and she wasn’t there- was it me?  It’s dark outside and the headlights play against the buildings, the moonlight gives trees and utility poles new form- ghostly form.  

            I see that which isn’t there, I feel unreasonable sensations, and then I am all alone.  At least I can be alone, in this car, while the driver is in his own thoughts.  No radio playing, no conversation exchanged, just the rhythm of the road at night.  Two people traveling together, yet alone.

            I know where I’ve been, where I am going is still a slowly unraveling mystery.  There are places I have visited and returned to.  The place I find myself tonight is far better than some of the hollows of my conscious memories.  I remember pain, I remember fear, I know there was joy and pleasure back there as well-this is pale though.  The vivid colors are in the memories that mar. 

            I’m on the road again.  We are getting close to home.  How did we get here so fast, I didn’t pay attention?   There is that girl again. She is hiding behind a willow tree in a darkened yard.  Why does she look like a scene from a familiar horror movie to me?  I guess the more important question that screams in my thoughts would be – what is she looking at? 

How do you know if it's your time for a big move?

I was sitting here thinking about our 3 year anniversary coming up.  Three years ago we relocated in a big way.  This was all part of a process I have written about in previous posts.

Today I was just thinking about a list of questions that would have probably helped me either jump start our move better, or aid in defining our goals sooner rather than later from our haphazard steps we took at times.

I thought, just for fun, I would love to prompt you into thinking by posting these questions.  I hope they help you if you actually have some prompting inching it's way into your conscious thought. If you want to define those impressions and identify what's happening in your journey maybe this can help with that as well.


1.How can you know when you need to make a big move?
Are there circumstances that seem to be closing in around you and creating a need for change, in work, housing, social contacts or even physical climate?


2.What are the signs that you may be needing a change?
Do you find yourself restless, irritated, listlessly thinking of other places or lifestyles?


3.If I could be anywhere else, where would I really like to be, and why?
Do you think this way?  Have you ever read about or visited some place and longed to be there instead of your current home?  Have you found any of those quizzes on the internet to find your ideal location and actually took them? Repeatedly?

4.Have you become stagnant where you are, not seeing any opportunity for growth or change in your personal, professional, educational or social life?

5.Do you feel like your recent season of life has been wearing on you rather than invigorating you and it may be time to take on a challenge and seek adventure?

6. If you were able to start over with coworkers, neighbors, friends and acquaintances; what could you look for in people and how could you better present or define your best self?

When we decided to make this big move we had various events prompt us into knowing it was the right time.

• My husband had been laid off and gone through 6 months of no work possibilities.  
• Our children were all out of our home at once finally and we were actually in a good place to separate ourselves from them a little and give them a chance to blossom.  
• We felt there was some purpose and intention for us as well as those we would meet in starting in a new community and new place to live work and worship.
• It was an excellent market time to sell our house.  We made a nice profit off the swift sale.
• We came to see the connection between the humidity and barometric pressure of our home town location was definitely the culprit for my many migraines and health issues at that time.  
• We had a nice chunk in our retirement and after the house sale that would be perfect to use for relocation.
• Almost suddenly we became keenly aware of our interest and actual longing for the southwest that had been growing over years, this was it, we knew we were intended to head west!

Well, there you have it.  Some of the squirming you may feel when you read these thoughts may be because you would never feel like this relocation adventure would ever be for you & yours....or is it?

Here's to getting uncomfortable, evaluating the current, and stepping into the possibilities ahead.

Enjoy your thought process, and share if you want- I would love to hear some feedback or questions.

Sleep well my friends,
BettyK

Stories, thoughts and bedtime tales

My husband and I were tossing story ideas around, it got quite amusing when we tossed around the thought of a plot where the people came to realize the flamboyant televangelists were in reality vampires in disguise.  Oh my, the roads you could travel developing a story on this premise.

Yesterday I was thinking of the way I tell my grandchildren some familiar old tales but I give them my own twist, like The Three Bears and how in the end they never wanted to harm Goldilocks.  I actually closed my tale with them all having tea and cakes in front of a cozy fire and the bears giving her a lovely place to live with them.  As I was thinking of these story times with the kids I realized I probably should write some of these stories down to save for as they grow older.  I can't always remember the twists and turns to my versions, and the children often remind me of that, but I would love to give them the best memories in print.

There is one tale I had been musing over with a modern premise, The Three Little Pigs.  I thought what if we modernize it a little with building materials being a pallet house, a container home, and an earth house made of mud and tires built sturdily into a mountainside. The big bad wolf would actually be a building inspector who wanted to ruin the pigs plans of attempting to live off the grid. Then I realized, the tale I had been telling them these past several years would amuse them more and this tale I was spinning was more humorous to me as an adult.

Finally I was attempting to recall a story I made up one night to tell my eldest granddaughter and her brother before bed several years ago.  It was spur of the moment, but it actually held my grandchildren in total silence.  My daughter in law was even captive listening in the hallway as well, unbeknownst to me.  It began as a tale of a young woman who lived in a castle in the clouds, her name was Splendina.  This castle was made of sugar cubes and the clouds of cotton candy, and Splendina loved to sprinkle thoughts of love and joy and sharing over the children below by means of a special pixie dust.  It was quite lengthy and full of things I really wish I could remember because it absolutely mesmerized those kiddos.  I have been asked by my granddaughter if I can remember the story like then and tell it again, and she is now 11 years old already, but much of the colorful details are gone forever.

This is why I must write, there are thoughts in my head, words in my journals over the years, stories I've told that I want to give.  I want to relive the joy, the sorrow, the awakening, the inspiration of those notions I have held.  This is why I am choosing now to veritably write.  I want to pour my heart into the pages.  I want to leave something for our generations to come to read and feel my connection with them, and be inspired.

So today I will take time, I will remember, and I will create fresh new thoughts and put them into paper and cover and produce bits and pieces of me, this is an exciting adventure that has actually been unfolding for quite some time.  And I always enjoy a good adventure!



...with thoughts and words that bring you life,

BettyK

Do you believe we can change our pace?

I am living proof that we can decide to purposefully change the pace of our lives.

I have been looking through old journals and realize there was a common theme in many of my entries...I needed to find a way to slow down!

I was often crying out from the stress of the rushing around and never feeling like I got everything done.  I was writing regularly for a season to then have gaps from over scheduling myself and letting the simple act of writing in a journal feel like I privilege I did not have time to engage in.

I created moments but they would often be swallowed by that monster of must do's that would strangle the life out of any breathing freedom from stress I would grasp at.

We went through difficult seasons as a family, we had pain, sorrow, loss...some events that were much more than any family should ever experience let alone all of them piled one after another like a mountain of suffocating trash in a heap.

In all of these several years of seeking some way to grab hold of some peaceful practice to regulate my time and my life I struggled.  I sought the correct answers; prayer, reading every idea or book or thoughts on time management and living stress free, new ideas for list making planning and goal setting your life, even ignoring the people who attempt to suck the life out of me and in so doing probably cause much harm and shame...

Well, you get the idea...

I feel like I see the way now, I have found that place.  I don't know how much of this has to do with age, or if all that cramming of knowledge into my brain over these years is finally sorted and ordered and coming to clear focus to be useful now.

I do know that I take time on the weekend, I plan out my week, I look at time as a gift that I need to use wisely and cherish- it is NOT unlimited!  I am careful how many shiny bright distractions of activity and tantalizing events attempt to sneak their way into stealing my time, energy and focus.
I make my time for the week set out as if I have appointments to keep- even appointed time to read, study, or pray.

I even schedule a good old soak in the tub on a somewhat regular basis- we all need to detoxify and there is no more blissful method than a good soak in an Epsom salt bubble bath with a clay mask on your face, a candle lit room and classical music playing from Pandora on your phone.

In all of these appointments I still allow for change, for moments of nothing, for surprises.  I claim my time and my week, but I let it breath as well.

So here I am, writing my thoughts because I have allotted myself the time to do that this morning.  And my grandest thought this morning is 'How can I help others find this place?'

Well, in the posts ahead I hope to help you all do just that.

I will try to post as I see the things I have learned that may actually help you the reader find your own gentle pace in your life.  Thank you for taking your time to read what I have to offer, I look forward to more chats with you.  Now go take a moment, breath deeply, and let it out slowly...and take claim to this day.  Don't let this day claim you!

I bid you peace,

BettyK

Looking over Albuquerque from the Sandia Peak 

Reading with a child

There is something wonderful about having a child sit with you and really pay attention as you read a book.  
I love it when you can see the story come alive in their mind by the way their eyes light up or the statements they make or the amazing questions they ask that make you wonder how it looks in their mind.
I also love the first stages of learning how to read themselves.  Our granddaughter is in kindergarten, just turned 6 yesterday, and she is fantastic how she reads.  I am enjoying each struggle and step of progress as she picks up more vocabulary and skill.

Today I am going to volunteer in her school for their 'Buddy Reading Time'.  I am so glad that I live close enough to her and am involved in her life enough to enjoy this experience.  I think every parent or grandparent would miss out if they didn't try at least some simple way to get involved with their family schools.
Our kids today need us to pay attention to them, they need us to take the time to look them in the eye and speak kindly with them and not dismiss them because of our busy lifestyles.  If we each took more time to acknowledge the kids around us and make them feel important what kind of difference would that make?

As adults that should be something we are keenly aware of, even we look for acknowledgement and connection everyday.  If we so eagerly seek this in relationships, in work, in life why wouldn't it have started with childhood?  The children who have a deeper sense of family connection and sense of value or worth grow to be adults who have a better self esteem and confidence about them.

Maybe you missed out on the healthy connection and life instilling messages when you were a child.  Use this as more reason to try to impart what you missed into the little lives you have around you.  Make a difference!

Ok, so I posted this today because it comes back to why I am doing what I am doing here- AllThingsNew.  I am really hoping that the items I create, the people I meet, the events I attend and the stories I share; that it all is to make a difference around me.  I want to inspire you to look at life and your own world with fresh eyes and seek the possibilities you may have forgot to search for.  I would love to seek greatness in my own life and I hope you find the way to do this in your own!

May your day be slow ~not hurried and stressful,
may your eye see the life and beauty around you,
may your heart feel the love and grace felt for you from above and within your family & friends,
may your home be peaceful and prosperous and may you be bursting with a desire to share!
You are loved!

Take care today
BettyK

Our son walking his daughter to the first day of school :o)

Being Grateful Drives Away Fear

With Thanksgiving just around the corner and the decorations and music beginning to fill the stores around us it is a little easier to have thoughts of thankfulness and express gratitude.

I was reading a devotional email I get daily today and realized that it was not too long ago that our family was going through such stressful times that I was filled with thoughts of  fear and feelings of overwhelming despair.  I see today the season is fresh and hopeful and I read these tips on keeping fear away by driving it out with gratitude and it is something I want to practice to be prepared. As we all know those seasons can come repeatedly in our lives because it is through those seasons we learn and grow.

I post this to share with you in case you are in a season of fear yourself...in case you are feeling loss or pain and find hope and gratitude a strange thought to grasp.

Look over the tips I have copied from the email I recieved and see if there is something here that can help you today to find strength as you go through your own season.

If you are interested I get these emails from a wonderful site where you can sign up for daily emails and inspirations - they have been so necessary on some days that I have been part of this for almost 2 years now.

http://alivenow.upperroom.org/2011/11/07/gratitude/
I love this description of what they are about you will find on the lower left of their site page ~

Daily life can seem out of control — too busy, noisy, overflowing with demands. Yet we’re called to make room for the Holy. That’s where Alive Now fits in. We’re about helping you make a little space for God in the midst of the chaos. Take 5 minutes — open up a spread in the magazine, light a candle and read today’s email, sit for a few minutes and gaze at a photograph. God is right here ... with you. Nurture your spirit.

Cultivate Gratitude

1. Make a gratitude list. Write down 7-10 things on the list each day. Download a Gratitude app to your mobile device or purchase a blank book specifically for keeping your gratitude list.
2. Say a grace before each meal. Also say a grace before you engage in a new activity.
3. Each time you pick up the phone, receive or send a text, or look at an email or letter, give thanks for that person.
4. If you are struggling with fear, sadness, or hopelessness, stop what you are doing and jot down a list of 5 things for which you are grateful.
5. Say a prayer of thanks at the end of the day.

Enjoy your day, be filled with peace!
BettyK