What we can live without as well as what we think we can't:

Only 18 days ago we found out my dad of barely 67 years of age has cancer.
Two days ago we ( I say we because as a family we have all gone through this on some level)  went through surgery removing a large tumor as well as three quarters of my father's lung and his lymph glands with tumors.  We now await results of examining those glands & their tumors to see his next step.  They have also discovered prostate cancer.
I write this and feel so distant to the words, but the reality is that I don't know how long I will have my father with me.  It was hitting me as I washed the day's grime off my face tonight before bed; they removed my dad's glands, I guess he doesn't necessarily need them any more.  Well this is a hard to grab concept.  
I have been traveling to the hospital to see Dad, he had a scary morning today and we thought we lost him, so my time has been re-routed to focus on being available for him and Mom first and all else afterwards.
I write this as I toss around the feeling, the memories that have been flooding and even often intruding on my days lately, and the exhaustion I am experiencing this moment.
I am thankful.
I am thankful for the years I have had a father.
I am thankful for these days of sharing moments with my family and my father.
I am thankful for the influence and legacy left to each of us by my father.
I am thankful for my father's love.


I guess I just wanted to jot down some of these things tossing so restlessly in my thoughts tonight.


thank you for letting me do so.


BettyK